Fragile flower
by shadowdreamer Lady Fate
Summary: What happens when everyone seems to abandon Padfoot after the werewolf prank. What if he wasn't responsible? Siri slowly declines into depression SBRLSS Slash


Fragile Darkness

authors note: Well this is my first fanfic so please be nice. This is a slash fic so you have been warned! SB/SS/RL. LE/JP I don't own HP but the plot is mine!

By: Kallipso

Sirius watched as the other marauders walked by him totally ignoring him except for throwing nasty glares at him or pulling vicious pranks when no one could see. He stood silently as Lily went by throwing him a concerned glance not understanding why Padfoot's other friends where ignoring him. Lily was even more worried because Sirius had lost a lot of weight, refused to go outside, or be seen in the presence of the others unless it was of the utmost emergency. She even thought she had heard sobs coming from the boys' dorm room when she passed. Lily shook off her concern thinking to herself, 'I'll ask James about this the next time I see him.'

Sirius wondered down to the great hall and filled his plate diligently under the stern look form Professor McGonagall. She had not been happy with the stunt he had pulled during the full moon solely thinking that it was all Padfoot's fault, yet she was forcing him to eat. Well that was to be expected the nurse was not happy with Sirius's weight when she had last seen him after McGonagall had taken him to her because of him missing so much class.

Flashback

"Well what is your diagnosis Madam Pompherey? Is he sick or is he just cutting class?" Minerva asked the nurse.

"I've given him a potion to help him sleep for tonight but I want him monitored. He had sleep deprivation, has not eaten anything at all in two weeks and he seriously underweight. The child only weighs around ninety pounds where he should be around one hundred and seventy pounds for his size. I don't truly know how long he's stopped eating for but if he loses anymore weight he will have to go to St. Mungo's to be observed and treated." The nurse said.

"I'll make sure that he eats don't worry about it." McGonagall said with a hard look on her face as if she believes that he was not worth the effort but that this would be an onerous task.

End flashback

Sirius waited until McGonagall turned to eat her food before he snuck out his wand and turned over half of his food into three napkins. No one knew that he was that good at transfiguration so he didn't worry about people thinking that he was able to do things like that. Sirius had gone to putting weights around his ankles when he knew that he would be in the hospital wing ducking out when he was escorted to transfigure two of his quills into thirty pound weights when he went to the bathroom. No one ever checked anyways. They'd leave him alone about it soon enough anyways. Only two pair of sharp eyes caught the transfiguration and worried about it. Emerald green eyes watched with worry and pair of amber colored eyes where filled with confusion on why Padfoot had just done what he had done. Sirius looked back at McGonagall who was looking at him. He looked pointedly at his plate before looking up at her again. She smiled harshly and nodded that she saw that he had eaten. Padfoot saw the harshness of the smile and flinched slightly. The owls that where carrying anymore news or replies to letters flew to there masters. Sirius looked on in shock as his mother's owl landed on his shoulder digging wicked gouges in his shoulder underneath his robes. Sirius untied the letter from the bird's leg and cursed silently when the owl nipped his ear hard enough to barely break the skin. Sirius decided that he would not read the letter in front of everyone in the great hall and stood up taking his stuff with him. Padfoot slipped into one of the secret passages before he opened the letter from his family. The letter told him that he was no longer apart of the family he was being disowned and how filthy of a person he was. Padfoot read with silent tears coming down his face, but the worst had yet to come. As he went to close the letter he accidentally cut himself on the razor sharp edges. Sirius cursed and went to put his finger in his mouth when a drop of his blood fell onto the letter. Padfoot screamed as he felt the Curtaius Curse hit him at full strength, he fell to his knees as the curse took its toll on his body and he lost his grip on the letter. As soon as the letter fluttered away from him he felt the curse give way. He shivered and slowly picked himself off the floor using the wall as a support. He incinerated the letter with a spell from his wand and cast a feather weight charm on his bag. He picked up his bag and limped his way back to his dorm. No one was there at the time, not that anyone would care so Sirius threw himself face down onto his bed. He reviewed the letter in his head and knew that it wouldn't have hurt so much if he had someone there that didn't hate him.

He couldn't understand why the others thought that he was the one that had sent Snape that letter. No one knew of the truth of his family heritage except for his immediate family so no one knew the truth. Sirius had not sent that letter to Severus Snape. He could have never hurt his Severus that way. Padfoot had figured that Regulus had sent the letter hoping to destroy Severus and Remus just to make his brother miserable. Sirius had gained both sides of his family heritage which was seen as a definite disadvantage by his family. He had gained both the Siren and fallen sides of his family, but what he had gained was mostly on the lighter side of the spectrum sending his family into a fit because they had inapt heir. Padfoot had two mates because of his heritage. They were Remus Lupin, and Severus Snape, the two people he would give his life too to protect. His two mates had no clue how much he cared for them, covering up for them when they were tried or when they had just seen too much. Severus usually saw him as the bane of his existence as Sirius Black but when he was in needed of help he knew Padfoot as Kale, the person he could call out for that would help him every way he could. Padfoot couldn't help but wonder if anyone would miss him if he left this world. Sure the marauders would be sad that they didn't have ringside tickets to the event. Lily had James, and she would simply forget about him. Remus didn't know the truth so he could still find a suitable mate for himself and be happy. Sure Severus would miss Kale but he would laugh at Sirius Blacks death spitting on his grave. His family hated him and disowned him there would be no solstice there. Sirius slowly rolled off of his bed and made his way over to his trunk. He pulled out a picture of all of the marauders and wept silently his tears running down the charmed parchment slowly to fall on the floor.

He set the picture down onto the floor and pulled out a sheet of parchment, a quill, and ink. Sirius picked up the picture and silently made his way back to his bed. He sat down and put the picture were he could see everyone's smiling faces. He had posted a small picture on the corner of the picture of him and Severus while he was playing at being Kale. Padfoot smiled through his tears as he picked up the parchment dipped his quill into the ink pot and started to write

_**To anyone that may care,**_

**_I am sorry for all the grief that I have caused you with my existence and I will plague you no more. Save your tears for someone who deserves them for I surely do not. I am sorry that I'm such a disappointment to you and I hope this letter finds you happier now that I have rid you of your burden. I take full responsibility for what I have done here; there is no other way for me to obtain peace. To my family, may you find yourself thinking about your wrongs and repenting for them. May you find love and comfort in the arms of another for your whipping boy is gone. To my former friends I don't blame you for leaving me it was only a matter of time before you saw how bad trash like me is for you. I hope that you live happy lives that are filled with love. I did not betray you as you think I did. If you need proof, ask my family about my heritage and you will know. Just ask Regulus how Severus ended up with that letter; you would be amazed if you could find the out the truth from that twisted soul. To Severus I am sorry that I could not befriend you as myself and that I did it in the guise of another. Forgive me but I am not a strong person. I can't be more than the weak trash that I am. Lily, keep smiling don't let James get away with too much. Keep him focused and grounded. I love you little sister. To the Professors, if you go into the forbidden forest you will find Aragon. He is a giant spider that Hagrid was raising during his time at Hogwarts. The Chamber of Secrets is in moaning Myrtles bathroom in the sink that doesn't work. The monster of the chamber is a snake called a Basilisk you need to be extra careful of her. Don't blame yourselves for not seeing this coming. It is the inevitable that the weak should die and so I shall. My earthly possessions are to be split between James, Peter, Lily, and Remus. The possession I came into claiming as Kale are to go to Severus, use them well. Goodbye dear world don't morn me for I am not worth it. Shed no tears for this rock holding you back will be gone. _**

_**Yours with all my heart,**_

_Sirius Padfoot Black_

Sirius finished the letter and placed next to him as he pulled out his wand and transfigured his quill into a razor sharp jeweled dagger. The emeralds and rubies glittered in the sunlit room. Padfoot ran his hands up and down the dagger lovingly and grim smile twisted his lips in a cruel parody of his once dazzling smile. He ran the blade up and down his arm several times and watched in fascination as the dagger left narrow bleeding lines up and down his arm. The one thing that Sirius had forgotten to do though was to make sure the door was locked so that no one could enter, why bother he figured no one would come up to see him anyway. Oh how wrong could he be.

Lily had asked James about why they were avoiding Sirius only to receive "Don't talk about that traitor he deserves whatever he gets." From James.

Now even more so than before Lily was worried about Sirius doing something stupid because of something the marauders did. She has watched silently as Sirius lost more weight yet had held her tongue figuring that the guys would sort thing out. When she realized that they refused to she knew she had to act before someone got hurt. Lily silently made her way up to the boys' dormitory and checked to see if anyone would see her going into talk to Sirius. No one noticed her so Lily opened the door silently only to be greeted with a nightmare. Sirius was sitting on his bed the drapes pulled back running a jeweled dagger up and down his arm leaving wide jagged bloody marks up and down his arms. Lily gasped silently and made her way over to Sirius without him noticing. Just as he was about to drag the dagger down his arm again Lily took the dagger from him.

"Oh, Sirius! This is not the answer that you are looking for. Hurting yourself or even killing yourself wont make the pain go away, it will just get worse." Lily whispered as Sirius looked her in the face then averted his gaze to the floor fearing the next words out of her mouth would be about her disappointment in him. Lily saw the broken gaze that Sirius gave her and gently took him into her arms. "It's okay to cry I will be with you don't worry. I won't tell anyone you cried let it go Love. Let the pain out before you do something irreversible and take all of our hearts with you." Lily said as she pushed Sirius' head onto her shoulder holding him tightly as the sobs wracked him. Sirius finally cried himself into exhaustion and allowed Lily to help him lay down. Lily went over to James's trunk and pilfered through his items coming back holding two potions one a light blue the other a violet. Lily propped Sirius up just enough to ease the potions down his throat glaring at him when he tried to protest. As soon as the second potion was fully swallowed Lily laid Sirius back down, brushing back his bangs as the potions took effect. She could tell that he was trying to fight the sleeping potion but knew with his exhaustion he would not last very long. Lily smiled as Sirius relaxed into the bed sleeping a dreamless sleep thanks to the potion. Lily's smile faded as she picked up Sirius arm to see how much damage he had done to himself. Lily went over to James trunk again and found a length of bandages he always kept there incase someone got hurt because of a prank gone wrong. The tore the bandages into three strips, she first cleaned the wounds with one strip applied a disinfectant she had gotten from James's trunk to Sirius arm with the second length and quickly bound the wounds to keep them from bleeding anymore than they already had. Once her job was complete she looked over Sirius once more then cast a charm that would let her know when he woke up and kept him from using the dagger or anything magical including his wand to harm himself.

Lily swept down the dormitory stairs in search of the other marauders and Severus Snape. The reason she was going for Severus was that she thought that he deserved to know especially after she read Sirius's letter to everyone.

Lily walked into the common room hoping beyond hope that the other marauders would be in the room. As she looked around she saw Remus in the corner looking out of one of the windows he seemed to be brooding but Lily could have cared less. Lily went up to Remus and pulled on his arm to get his attention.

"Lily, what's up? Is there something wrong, you look worried." Remus asked.

"Remus, I want you to find James and Peter and bring them into the common room right now. Do not go into your dormitory I want to talk to all of you first. I'll be right back." Lily said sternly.

"Okay, Lily just calm down I'll get the others will met you right here." Remus said as he stood going to fetch the others from pulling a prank on Filch.

Lily swiftly made here way down the corridors to the library where she went in to see if Severus was. Snape was in a back corner hiding behind a potions book while making sure no one got too near to him. Lily purposefully made her way up to him.

" Hello, Severus. I believe that we need to talk." Was all Lily said.

"What do you want Lily?" Severus asked trying to stay on the red heads good side.

"I need you to come with me right now. This involves a lot more people. It's about the incident. Wait before you start to blow your stack I believe there are something's you need to know. I need you to be understanding right now, otherwise someone might not be here in the morning." Lily said softly checking to make sure no one could hear her words.

Severus's face was clouded by both anger and confusion before he smoothed it out. "Very well I'll keep my temper for now. Show me the way." Severus replied.

Lily led Severus down the hallway up to the Gryffindor tower. She motioned for Severus to stand back so she could check to see who was in the room seeing that no one was in the common room, she led Severus in. Lily took Severus up to the boys' dorm and let him in. Severus noticed that the only occupant in the room was Sirius Black and nearly walked right back out had Lily not caught his arm and gave him a pleading look. Severus sighed and went into the room again. Lily led Sev over to Sirius's side, she looked to make sure that the potion was still working as she reached for the letter and handing it to Severus.

" Please read this and stay with him. I don't think he should be alone right now. If he wakes up just keep him calm and yell for me. Please think over what he has written, you'll be sorry if you ignore it." Lily said. "I'll be down in the common room if you need me. I have to talk to the others. This is not your fault but I think your one of the only people that will be able to fix what has been broken. I'm sorry to drag you into this but once you read this letter I think you'll know why I came to you for help. Don't see him as pathetic snobbish Sirius Black see him as he truly is. You'll know what I mean later. Treat him with care don't hurt anymore than he has already been hurt." Lily walked back down stair to await the others return.

Severus's point of view

I watched as Lily walked out of the room quietly shutting the door before I turned to look at the figure that was laying like one dead in the bed behind me. I sat on the corner of the bed making sure not to disturb the sleeping figure as I read the letter he apparently had written. Before I got to the first line I looked Black over one last time. It was the first time that I realized just how much wait he had lost. Now I can guess why McGonagall was watching his eating habits. I gently shook myself from my reflection and went back to reading the letter.

_To anyone that may care,_

_I am sorry for all the grief that I have caused you with my existence and I will plague you no more. Save your tears for someone who deserves them for I surely do not. I am sorry that I'm such a disappointment to you and I hope this letter finds you happier now that I have rid you of your burden. I take full responsibility for what I have done here; there is no other way for me to obtain peace. To my family, may you find yourself thinking about your wrongs and repenting for them. May you find love and comfort in the arms of another for your whipping boy is gone. To my former friends I don't blame you for leaving me it was only a matter of time before you saw how bad trash like me is for you. I hope that you live happy lives that are filled with love. I did not betray you as you think I did. If you need proof, ask my family about my heritage and you will know. Just ask Regulus how Severus ended up with that letter; you would be amazed if you could find the out the truth from that twisted soul. To Severus I am sorry that I could not befriend you as myself and that I did it in the guise of another. Forgive me but I am not a strong person. I can't be more than the weak trash that I am. Lily, keep smiling don't let James get away with too much. Keep him focused and grounded. I love you little sister. To the Professors, if you go into the forbidden forest you will find Aragon. He is a giant spider that Hagrid was raising during his time at Hogwarts. The Chamber of Secrets is in moaning Myrtles bathroom in the sink that doesn't work. The monster of the chamber is a snake called a Basilisk you need to be extra careful of her. Don't blame yourselves for not seeing this coming. It is the inevitable that the weak should die and so I shall. My earthly possessions are to be split between James, Peter, Lily, and Remus. The possession I came into claiming as Kale are to go to Severus, use them well. Goodbye dear world don't morn me for I am not worth it. Shed no tears for this rock holding you back will be gone. _

_Yours with all my heart,_

Sirius Padfoot Black

I felt the tears flow down my face but I was careful to keep them from dropping to the parchment so not to smear the words Sirius had final said to everyone while doing such harm to himself. Now I see why Lily asked me here. God how could he hide all this from me when I last saw him. Damn those marauders and his parents for making him believe himself lower than anyone else. Yes I had hated Sirius Black who gave me no thought but I love my only confidant Kale who always took care of me no matter how bad he felt. God the marauders and I are going to have to make a truce I will stand by Sirius side no matter what. He knew that I bore the dark mark yet he did not care. He was the one that took me to the headmaster's office and made me confess everything to the headmaster. Kale was the first one to find out about my abusive family, the very first one to truly crack my mask. He made me poor out my soul to the headmaster then ask for help. The old man was very understanding I think he thinks as Sirius and me as his sons which warms me to the core. Without Sirius I would not be here I know that now. I silently vowed that I would be there for him and see him completely healed. I leaned closer to Sirius and eventually I laid down next to him spooning to conform to his body as I had learned when he was Kale that he loved. I never realized why he always seemed to want contact yet appeared to be afraid of it at the same time. I laid my head down next to his a dozed waiting for the others to return and for Sirius to wake up so we could being to heal our poor broken puppy.

normal point of view

Lily waited impatiently for the other marauders to return. She merely hoped that Severus would truly read the letter and not let his prejudices get the better of him. Lily feared for Siri and merely wished that she could simply magic all of his problems away. Lily also realized that the weight loss that Siri had had was a way for him to punish himself slowly without many people realizing there was a problem which meant they were unfortunately going to have to force Siri to eat and make sure he truly ate not just transfigure his food into napkins. Lily sighed in relief as she saw Peter, James and Remus walk back into the common room.

Authors note: well what ya think! Hate it Love it let me know this is my first H-P fic so please be nice all explain anything or take criticisms generally no sharp flames please. Review let me know how you like it.

What should happen next?

lily yells at the marauders and everything get peaceful till Siri wakes up

Siri wakes up and tries to off himself yet sev stops him

the marauders except for Remus leave and wont listen

Remus gets upset and wont listen

Vote so that I can write any suggestions are welcome.


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